Male Chastity: A Wife’s Perspective
Male chastity and strict orgasm control puts a couples sex life and relationship on virtual steroids
All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with.
Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. And as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days.
Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways. It changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you.
Getting him to adore you again
It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.
You being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings. He will adore you and treat you in a way you desire. He will be eager to please you because you are the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.
How to introduce chastity requires the correct plan. One that would work for my husband, was the most detailed part of the research process. By taking the advice of many other women, I was able to put a well informed plan together that I was confident that would be successful.
I followed this plan from day one and still, do to this day. I have found it works. At least a dozen other ladies have also utilized variations on this plan successfully.
We must always remember that sexually we are always in command and that first and foremost we will always be sexually satisfied.
This is the cornerstone to happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband’s job. My husband does so anywhere and anytime I say and by any means that I demand. Not being able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm only means that I experience many more than ever before.
You may think that this works only to your advantage and that is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually get his release and every time he satisfies you he is happy because he has made you happy.
It is important to instill to him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through your sexual satisfaction. Eventually every time you experience an orgasm he will have a sense of sexual satisfaction.
How you will accomplish this I will explain in a moment. What could be better, you being pleasured any way you like and experiencing wonderful sensations. He can not have an orgasm but he feels satisfied because you are and he will maintain a high libido. (Although you’re still equals outside of the home you are the queen of the bedroom and he is your slave.)
Initial enforcement of chastity period
It is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their man that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least 3 months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the break-in period of getting a device that fits. Preventing him from having an orgasm for three month period may seem a bit harsh but it is paramount to your success as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the lack of masturbation and sexual pleasure as desired. Enforcing the first 3 month period will allow him to get in to the proper frame of mind and make him understand your desire and your commitment and your determination to his being chaste. It will also give you the chance to develop the strength to say “no”. He should be made aware of the time frame immediately upon his being secured in his device. This allows for a clear understanding of the initial commitment of time.
After 3 months of being locked up your man would be willing to do almost anything for a release. In that sense the chastity device will have done its job physically but mentally some men can hold out for 3 months and bounce back to their old ways once you let them cum. They then expect future orgasms on a regular basis! In determining the length of the initial period, you need to consider this.
A chastity lifestyle will be very hard on him initially and 3 months without release but it will make your seriousness very clear to him. You will have put an end to his days of masturbating behind your back. His life will never be the same after. Rather than pleasuring himself when he wants, he will become dedicated to pleasuring you when you want it and how you want it.
You will need to be strong and keep up your end of the bargain. When you can do this it will have change the dynamic of your relationship in a way that set you and him on the path to long term happiness.
Post-confinement release ecstasy
Upon completing his initial confinement period I assure you that you can give him an experience like he has never had before . This is a reward for both of you. You will have a sense of strength for enforcing it and him for getting through it.
You should make his orgasm a slow drawn out one with lots of teasing. It will be all too easy for him to cum very quickly. You may need to tie him down to keep him on edge but when you finally do let him cum it will be almost too much for his body to handle.
Once you allow him his first release it is entirely up to you how many sexual experiences you allow, how they occur and how the ejaculate is disposed. A very important step during any release period is to ensure that you will get him right back into his device.
Physical restriction may be necessary
Some of the women manage this by always tying him down before the device is removed. While this has its old school charms, there are lots of other options. Locking his hands behind his back in a pair of steel handcuffs is a quick way to keep him from grabbing his penis if you are teasing him. I also have a waist belt with a pair of leather cuffs attached which is easy and fun to use. You can get something similar for cuffing his hands to his thighs.
A wonderful device called a humbler works well if you want him to have use of his hands to pleasure you. If all you are doing is inspecting his cock and making sure the device is cleaned then I just put the handcuffs on one of his wrists or ankles prior to removing his device. Before the cuff comes off he has to be secured back in his chastity tube. I am confident that he would not be willing to go to work with the dangling cuff. Several of the other women have tried this trick and found it works well.
The less that you have to worry about his arguing that the device doesn’t have to immediately go back on the more likely you are to take it off frequently which promotes both teasing and keeping the tube and his penis clean.
Frequency of allowed orgasms
There were a number of different views about how often a man should be allowed to cum after the initial denial period. Some of the women with younger males let theirs have an orgasm about once a week. I suspect that they were masturbating a couple times a day before this so that once a week is a big reduction. Most of the women I talked to though thought that it was best to strike a balance between keeping them completely denied and giving them some hope of gaining a release. You will need to experiment and ultimately you will need to do what works best for you, recognizing that the less often for him the better.
The most common belief was that it was not good to allow their male to achieve an orgasm more than once per month but most thought that his orgasm should not very often be withheld for more than 3 months unless there was a good reason for doing so.
Some women liked to think about how often their man could have an orgasm as a small fraction of the number of orgasms they had. A 50-1 ratio seems to be very popular but you can pick the number to suit your needs and gets the time between releases just about right. This approach gives him a strong incentive to initiate sex and give you orgasms.
Some women like to set goals for their husbands where they are allowed an orgasm earlier than scheduled if they meet a big goal. Men who had cheated with other women rather than by being chronic masturbaters deserve harsher treatment.
When you need penetration …
There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his cock. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using numbing creme and a several condoms. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. There are other alternatives that allow penetration without this risk.
You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. After he cums give him a Viagra and wait an hour or so before you use him for up. It is good for about 3 hours or you can give him a Cialis if you want to do an all day thing.
Once he has cum the first time and recovered by the time the erection drug takes effect, he will not orgasm nearly as easily and either of the two drugs will get and keep him really hard even if he has another orgasm.
Some of the women use their men for intercourse for several days in a row treating the whole event as a single release period before they lock him back up for a prolonged duration. The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself. The two can be one and the same thing.
Having him perform cunnilingus on you while locked up is almost guaranteed to drive to the edge. Fortunately, for you the chastity device will keep him from going over.
Just think the more sex you get without letting him cum the more he wants you.
If more women knew this secret there would be a lot more locked up husbands and boyfriends.
Remember you have all the time in the world to train him to do the way you want without any need to worry about getting him off.
Once locked all he does is fantasize about you. You will need to decide if you want to be the one that initiates sex or whether you want him to.
Training your man
My usual rule with my man is that I will tell him when and how I want to be pleasured and he is expected to drop everything when this happens.
This is clearly a control issue for me but your tastes may differ.
One of my friends likes to have her husband instigate elaborate romantic seduction rituals. She never unlocks him during these events but on the rare occasion when he really outdoes himself, she allows him an orgasm the next day.
The bliss point is when you get your man to the place he gets pleasure purely from your pleasure without thinking about his cock. (My husband is not quite there yet but he is getting there.)
There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him.
There is the classic tie him down to the bed, take off the tube and work over his cock for hours. Every time you feel him close to an orgasm stop and straddle his face and have one or more yourself. Stay with it as long as you can and you will leave him a marshmallow.
You may find that you have to ice down is penis to get back in the tube. Dress up in the way that drives him crazy and stand him at attention nude in his chastity tube while you softly stroke him all over but ignore his cock. He will struggle to stand tall as his cock struggles to grow in the chastity tube.
Every woman needs to develop her own style. You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a lot of work but he will shower you with attention. The hardest thing will be getting that much attention again.
Keeping him in the game
It is understandable that there may be days that you want to ignore his situation. It is alright to not care that all the time that he is not no longer in control of his manhood and you can let him know that you don’t. Still you should not let this go more than a few days without making positive comments about his being locked up for you.
The main thing if you are going to lock him up is that you need to make a commitment to yourself and him to make this work. As the endeavor in to chastity continues you will be able to add ideas and musings to your relationship that you find works well. Remember the basic principles of how to keep your man under your spell. It will let both of you discover chastity’s amazing rewards.
Always maintain the upper hand to show both you and him that your requests are nothing less than a requirement for him. You will never want to let things revert back to his lack of self-control again. Believe me, the routine is effective and over the long term you’ll not regret it even though at times it seems like a lot of work.
There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them – be careful what you wish for. I think some of the husbands, given a choice, would go back to their old ways, but none of the wives would.
I think that deep down the men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his. I know the wives, who stuck it out through the trials and tribulations of finding a chastity device that worked and then figuring out how change their mindset from a need to give him orgasms to one of deserving all the orgasms they could ever want. We are all much happier.